Awful Feeling. It All Adds Up… Or Does It?

Written on Tuesday, June 24th, 2008 at 6:45 pm | by Marck Ronald Rimorin

I kind of feel awful for being what benign0 calls an “average Filipino schmoe.” It’s not that I am helpless to change the Philippines for the better, but more like I can’t help victims of a disaster. I think about it, and it’s more like I represent another big fraction of Filipino society: chumps. People who try to do something, but it’s not enough. People who want to do their share, but it still doesn’t do a trickle to change the way things are. People who raise a hand up, and instead end up wondering what a difference that can do.

Take the recent disaster caused by Typhoon Frank. When you get paid enough for your basic necessities, your needs, and the occasional whim, you figure that all the “difference” you can make is buying sampaguita from a kid. That’s it. The last good deed I ever did was when a little boy at Philcoa tugged at my shirt, asking me if he can have my last two pieces of siomai. And this was a week ago. I wonder, did the state of the economy ever change with a few strands of sampaguita and two pieces of siomai?

Raised exponentially - that is to say, to the thousands whose lives were forever destroyed by an erratic typhoon - you kind of get taken aback with a few canned goods and some spare change you leave at a gas station. What does that do? Did the state of disaster response and prevention ever change when you see at least one old woman pass by a Shell station and give a small portion of her NFA ration to the relief effort?

The sight of that made me realize that I’m not a cynic. I just feel awful.

I guess the reason why I feel awful is that simple things like these simply do not add up, no matter how much one tries to be generous. It is often the case in the Philippines that the poor do give more, and the rich give less. Not that I have anything against rich people, but you don’t see a lot of people forgoing a frappe at Starbucks for the sake of adding up to the relief effort, or to help alleviate the misery and malaise we experience as a society. You see kids asking for spare food, and old women giving up food. And then there are news reports. Seven hours into work, you still can’t get it out of your head.

To me, at least, now is not the time to go after the Sulpicio Lines owners, strap them to the stocks and pillory, and throw rotten tomatoes at them before they get hanged publicly for making the bingo. There will always be time for the scathing rage that comes from the indignation following a tragedy. There will always be time to accuse. I still believe in the inherent goodness of people to add up to donations, to help out in whatever way they can.

Then again, what good does that do? Systemic change?

What about a few packs of instant noodles in the donation box? What about a meal for the hungry? Isn’t that change too?

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About The Author: Marck Ronald Rimorin is a twenty-something blogger, "critic," and writer from Baguio City, and currently works in Metro Manila as a writer. His personal blog is at The Marocharim Experiment

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8 Responses to “Awful Feeling. It All Adds Up… Or Does It?”

  1. Disaster Relief Efforts | Tingog.com | The Voice of The Filipino on June 24th, 2008 7:44 pm

    […] Marck has an interesting post over at FilipinoVoices.com which I thought was very relevant since I think what he feels, which is an “awful feeling”, is something that many of us feel during such disasters as this recent one of The MV Princess of The Stars. Typhoon Frank is yet another typhoon that we won’t soon forget, but Marck puts it in perspective, and reminds us, that maybe we should all be concentrating on relief efforts, and put the castigation and the blame game on to the back burner. I’m with him up to an extent, I think we can still do both. But, trust me, I’m really really pissed, and filled with a sense of anguish. […]

  2. butch on June 24th, 2008 7:51 pm

    The mere fact that you can write about it with clarity and honesty means you are not as powerless as you may think or feel at the moment.

    And although its a cliche, every little bit helps. The old woman who give a small portion of her NFA ration to the relief effort has it right. We can make a difference, individually and collectively.

  3. The Marocharim Experiment » A Depression on June 24th, 2008 8:35 pm

    […] writing a guilty entry over at Filipino Voices, I decided to go home immediately before I start having pangs of conscience […]

  4. benign0 on June 24th, 2008 9:50 pm

    I think we should not be paralysed by our perceived helplessness any more than we should be judgmental of how much or how little people give to the relief effort. What’s important is that you do what you are best at. CEO’s should continue leading their companies, and janitors should continue mopping their floors. You are of greater value to your society doing your job PROPERLY instead of going off on a crusade outside of your sphere of competency after being egged on by those who presume to know better than you what you should be doing with your life.

  5. Ding G. Gagelonia on June 25th, 2008 7:10 am

    All positive and meaningful actions begin with words. History is replete with examples. Your expression of how you feel Marck can help galvanize awareness. Let’s all keep speaking out.

  6. marck on June 25th, 2008 7:13 am

    benign0:

    i agree that we should do our jobs properly, instead of going beyond our sphere of competency. but then again, a lot of people have guilt pangs. i guess it comes with empathy: you want to help, but you can’t do enough. you feel disgusted, but you can’t do enough.

    some people don’t do enough. some people don’t go the extra mile.

  7. Pochero on June 25th, 2008 9:07 am

    Every little bit helps. Let’s use the Filipino “tingi” culture to advantage — just do what you can. What you gave may be insignificant in the whole scheme of things but I bet it wasn’t insignificant to the sampaguita vendor, and I bet it wasn’t insignificant to the little Philcoa boy. Let us all just do what we can, where we are, with what we have.

  8. No better time than now « smoke on June 25th, 2008 7:28 pm

    […] better time than now Posted on 25 June 2008 by rom Over at Filipino Voices, Marck wrote: To me, at least, now is not the time to go after the Sulpicio Lines owners, strap […]

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